Funny Status Messages

   'Sleepy Joe' oversaw the biggest stock and job gains in US history while 'the business genius' crashed it all in 45 days.

   DOGE claims to have found mountains of fraud, yet NO ONE has been indicted for the crime of fraud. It's almost like Elon is 100% full of s

   For the first time ever in CNN's polling, a majority disapprove of Trump on the economy. And it's a clear majority: 56%. It's begun.

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. So many of you think he's great LMFAO

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. And so many of you think he's great LMFAO

   The Dow Jones: where your nest egg goes to get scrambled."

   I just heard that a cold shower eases depression. I was fine with it... until I looked down.

   Cats are nice

   I just killed a huge mouse. Ripped it to bits. The staff at Disneyland are furious.

   Your country is toast.

   A cult doesn't have 77 Million People. That's a revolution. A cult has a few thousand people with blue hair and random pronouns.

   Can't wait for the next in the occasional series of idiocy from the pearl clutching asshole who can't get over his candidate losing the election.

   Egg prices are dropping. It turns out that if you stop killing chickens, they lay more eggs.

   A cult is an unpopular religion. A religion, is a popular cult. It's a cult. You're a cult member.

   He didn't survive an assassination. It was a blood packet. Special effects. It was a complete set up. This is obvious.

   My favourite stories are reading about the ones who voted for him whose lives are being destroyed right now. Now that's comedy!

   I'm not clutching pearls. But I did drop a few pearls on your wife's cleavage.

   This is what I hate the most. Every single morning for the next four years I, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, have to wake up fingers crossed to see if he's dead yet.

   The weakest, dumbest, most pathetic coward to ever sit behind that desk. He's a joke. And I piss on him.

   The right wing crashed the economy in 1929. The right wing crashed the economy in 2008. The right wing is crashing the economy in 2025. I'm sitting back and loving it. Burn baby burn.