Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.

   The GOP has now turned into the GQP, and this is why I'm out!

   Today, I feel sorry for the poor saps who decided to boycott the NFL, four years ago, just because of stupidity.

   Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors.

   Everybody enjoy the Social Justice hour before kickoff?

   There’s an alternate universe some place where Hoobastank is the halftime show.

   Wonder how many wife's the guy who giving marriage tips has gone through?

   Super bowl sucked I guess we should blame Trump for that too.... haha

   SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.

   Dr fauci just announced we all have to wear jock straps now to stop the spread of covid

   Not sure if I just watched the Superbowl or a three hour commercial?

   Did I miss the Superbowl again? Darn that's like 20 years in a row.

   And this morning a container ship will depart for some third world country, loaded with Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LV Champions gear. Enjoy your Chiefs gear, Kenya...

   This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Biden speeches.

   For the first time in my life, I did not welcome The Weekend.

   sellin 2nd chances $100 hmu lmk.

   The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.

   They should have gone with the original Superbowl halftime show plan with Melania dancing on the pole. She's a better and experienced pole dancer than the Weeknd as a singer.

   Just like CVS, I too can be your Plan B on Valentine’s Day for $48

   You notice how I don't stick a million bumper stickers and flags, with a man's name on it, on my car like a f-ing weirdo?