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My way of asking a girl I like out on a date is to say "Will you run away with me to have coffee?" that works like a charm.
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04-16-2019 14:03 by
Moon
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Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls
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04-17-2019 07:22
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I have a friend who can tap dance backwards. His name is Pat
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04-18-2019 17:02 by
Eddy
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I rather be sleepy or crazy than doppy.
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04-18-2019 19:33
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First that idiot cut me off in traffic, then he steals my parking spot, and now his stupid car got paint on my key!
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04-18-2019 19:52 by
MiMisHouse
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I have one of the best memories of all time, but I can never remember what I did.
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04-18-2019 23:59
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I think tomorrow I'll put on a T-Shirt that says "LIFE" and then go downtown and pass out lemons.
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04-19-2019 08:12
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I love the poorly educated. Laughter would be scarce without them.
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04-19-2019 11:20
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I used to work at a bakery. It was a crumby job, but I made a lot of dough.
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04-19-2019 14:56 by
CrewRC
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idiot at the gym today.. He had a bottle of water in the Pringles can holder on the treadmill.. Freaking loser.
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04-19-2019 18:01
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Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small, and some are fake.
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04-19-2019 22:13
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We were so poor, that when I was a baby I instead of wearing diapers, my parents paper trained me.
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04-20-2019 00:15
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Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted.
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04-21-2019 13:20
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I decided to start working out today. Practicing my jabs, hooks, and uppercuts for the day after Easter candy clearance sale!!
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04-21-2019 20:11
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Happy earth day, earth. Sorry we're destroying your ass.
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04-22-2019 20:49
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Folks, there's zero % chance a candidate will pay off your student loans if elected. They're just pandering for all those votes...
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04-23-2019 08:18
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The 400 lb man, who demanded flight attendants to wipe his butt has died. Good riddance.
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04-23-2019 12:50
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Land of the free, home of the Whopper.
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04-24-2019 12:11
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Class? Hardcore girl-on-girl porn is considered class? The human race is fcked up. Please kill us all now, God.
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04-24-2019 16:29
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transparent- noun, when your child is transgender, you are their transparent
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04-24-2019 17:43 by
Eddy
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