Funny Status Messages

   Apparently the Russians also have very compromising material on Trump which they are ready to release if Trump decides not to play ball with Putin.

   I have good news I passed my Stress Test the other day....I guess that means I officially have Stress !!!!

   WikiLeaks has a whole new meaning today.

   A lion attacks a bull then eats him in just a few minutes. When he is done he lets out a loud roar. while he is roaring a hunter comes and shoots the lion killing him instatly. The moral of the story? When you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut!!

   My 2017 diet is going well. After 10 days of starving myself I've only gained 3 pounds...

   Just got back from 2037 and there still debating on the nominee Jeff Sessions.

   Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.

   You can't spell Trump without P.

   President Trump should act more presidential. Instead of ignoring reporters, he should do what our current president does, and BANS THEM from the press conferences..

   Has anyone else considered the romantic possibilities of nachos and naps?

   The Russians are gonna blackmail Trump w/ a "golden showers" tape? Trump must be PISSED!

   only close minded individuals talk about politic on social media!

   It is in the best interest of the United Sates to have better relations with Russia because Russian women are HOT!!!!

   Yup .... Sex with a 50 year old woman is pretty much the same as with a 20 year old with the exception that is has little chance of magically transforming into a child support payment.

   So she married one of the seven dwarfs But divorced him shortly after when she realised he wasn't actually happy.

   I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.

   Bae, I got you bae. -Sonny & Cher 2014

   I don't always floss, but when I do it's in the dentist's office when the hygienist does it..

   Let me get this straight... People who believed President Obama was born in Kenya and that there would be FEMA camps, and that Hillary ran a child sex ring from a pizza joint.... are SKEPTICAL of US intelligence.

   The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters. So Trump can’t tweet it.