Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Obama, I voted for you. I stay open minded on your views about education and health care even though I don't agree with everything. I am american and you're my president. Dude, you mess with my Xbox and iphone and that's it! You're off my friends list!

   wonders if when the inventor of the bong came up with the idea, did a black light appear above his head?

   told my husband, if you don't become more mature, you are going to erect a wall between us, he said hahahaha you said erect!!

   Loading Swag... ████████████████ 100% Complete

   reading Come On In! by Doris Open

   likes the 80's too, but ur not going to catch me snorting blow off the hood of a DeLorean!

   What kind of bees produce milk? B O O B I E S ( . )( . )

   life is like a box of coco. Not a box of chocolate, a box of coco. Why? Everything comes in stupid make-it- yourself kits! >:(

   Seriously facebook? I can write on the wall but not colour it in? WHAT IS THIS???

   just gave the neighbour's kid a serving. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...so I threw a dictionary at him.

   just watched Titanic backwards. Jack floats to the top, the boat glues itself together, Rose puts her clothes on and every sails happily back home.

   If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say.. Talk in your sleep

   just updated my status........TAKE THAT SOCIETY!

   No seriously if Obama really cant work Playstation & Xbox's we have a real problem!!

   What other people think of you is none of your business.

   I can't believe there are so many privacy risks involved in broadcasting my entire life on Facebook

   Do I got stupid written on my wall..

   Cop : Did you know that you were doing 85 in a 65?!?! Me: Well, did you know that you were doing over 85 in a 65 just to catch up to me? So, who was really speeding?? Huh?! Huh!! :

   Can Speak Japanese!! Wanna Hear?! TOYOTA!

   's Words of Wisdom: Mondays are God's punishment for what you did during the weekend!