Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   celebrating Cinco De Mayo by having some tequila, tacos, casadias, and cho cha

   Cinco De Mayo, the only day Mexicans are glad they are Mexican and celebrate for a country they were so eager to leave. So since if you aren't a Mexican today just drink like one!!!

   For those who don't speak Spanish, Cinco De Mayo means "Hold the Mayo"

   I wish mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood.

   Happy Cinco De Drinko

   having an out of money experience

   sitting upon his mighty throne, looking over his kingdom, and wearing his crown on a trobled brow. Could some one paaaaleeeeeease bring me some toilet paper.

   I hate to sound so skeptical but I'm starting to think that The Office isn't a real documentary.

   Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.

   I know I looked like a complete idiot on that wedding video but the camera adds 10 drinks.

   Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...

   It's Cinco de Mayo! Or, as they call it in Arizona, "May fifth let me see your papers."

   Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.

   Welcome To Sh*t Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

   It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

   Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off...

   I guess Chely Wright really was looking for a 'Single White Female'.

   Arizona is the only state in the US that does not observe daylight savings time or the 5th of May. (Cinco de Mayo) Today is May 4th part 2.

   If God had wanted Mexicans to rule the world he wouldn't have invented Tequila ~ Happy Cinco De Mayo

   The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words: the womans body is nice budwieser face so ugly?