santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.

   : Does that mean Santa knows where all the naughty girls live? No wonder he's so jolly!!

   : Santa Claus reported his naughty girls list stolen, Police comfirm Tiger Woods is the prime suspect.

   wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.

   can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"

   (Tiger's Christmas Song) Oh the weather outside is frightful. Having many tramps is so delightful. Just so my hot wife don't know…text a ho, text a ho, text a ho.

   got a sweater for Christmas ... he really wanted a moaner or a screamer 

   wondering if unemployment will be sending me a christmas bonus?

   just met a lot of people who will corner the market on coal this Christmas.

   knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas

   Christmas Card $3.00 Brand new "Shrek" dvd $20.00 Gift wrap $2.00 The look of disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real - PRICELESS !!!

   What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   Well I just bought another load of laundry and a few things to dust for Christmas... I hope my family and friends enjoy a little extra work... You're welcome...That's just how I roll...

   apologizes for sounding insensitive, but that "Christmas Shoes" song just plain sucks.

   contemplating doing a combination of christmas and easter, wrap the gifts, then hide them all over the house, voila...Christer!!!

   Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?

   thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.

   thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown