JCGJ Funny Status Messages

   Hello 911 a straight man is encouraging me to be my best self instead of bringing out the worst in me and idk what to do, send help.

   Just accidentally swiped right on my ex's profile while scrolling through Tinder. My thumb must have been possessed by the ghost of relationship past. Had to perform some emergency thumb CPR to swipe left!

   Back in my day, we didn’t scroll—we farmed! I remember when this was all FarmVille.

   I’ve been on Facebook forever! I remember when we had to plow our fields in FarmVille by hand—virtually, of course!

   I swear I can feel my brain buffering... please hold while I load my next thought!