Funny Status Messages

   Looks like it's probably going to to be a "guilty of manslaughter" verdict. Women are emotional and probably don't want to upset the prosecutor or defense so I predict they will choose a "compromise verdict" of guilty of manslaughter.

   my girlfriend says I'm great in bed because I can sleep the whole day.

   My life would be so much better if I was dead.

   Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people.

   Too many people confuse "justice" with "revenge."

   I've fallen! And I can't reach my beer!

   Wine is a fruit, right?!

   I'm a better person than I was yesterday, but still not as good as I can be tomorrow

   Surprise jumps on the back is for 160 lbs and under women only.....any thing over is a tackle

   Companies that are using technology to go paperless aren't putting iPads in the toilet stalls for wiping.

   Everyones like "George Zimmerman this, no justice that" I'm just over here like, "I'm gonna eat a popsicle."

   Whoever wants to kill anybody, should probably do so in Florida you will be free.

   Zimmerman about to be walking out in the streets in an Iron Man suit.

   BREAKING NEWS: Zimmerman is STILL not guilty since 3 hours ago

   Aaron Hernandez was seen on the phone begging his attorneys to have his murder case moved to Florida.

   Humans have driven animals such as the Rhino to instinction, so when thousands of humans murder each other or perish in a natural disaster, thats just karma doing its job.

   Race wars, class wars, religious wars, tribal wars, sectarian wars, ideological wars and gender wars shall be the end of earth.

   Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

   Politician: one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

   [ KANYE'S VOICE ]Everyone that is stomping their feet and pouting like little kids, the trial is over. He was found not guilty by a jury of his peers after all evidence was presented. The prosecution failed to prove their case... first it was the voting b