Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Looking at pictures of myself as a kid taken just after my mother cut my bangs makes me wonder what she used to mix in her Tang.

   As a mother, I knew one day I would have to deal with the issue of bullying. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon and to my fish.

   In the next verse of the song, the mother of the 5 Little Monkeys receives a massive doctor’s bill.

   Mother Nature gave man a set of balls solely to propagate the species. God gave man a set of balls solely for scratching.

   I always sharpen my guest bed of nails before my mother-in-law comes to visit.

   My daughter was eating a snack cake while her mother gave her a haircut. I said, "You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She said, "I know, daddy. And I'm gonna get b00bies too!"

   My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I’m wondering if I should have married her instead.

   Mother in law said if she was married to me, she’d poison my wine. I said if I was married to her, I’d drink it.

   My 9-year-old said I looked tired today and apparently becoming my mother has skipped a generation.

   If your relationship fails, don't blame her. It takes two people to mess up a relationship. Blame her and her mother.

   In the spirit of Mother's Day, the worst mother ever has to be Donsld Trump's mother.

   Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!

   Shout-out to Mother Nature for not giving snakes wings...

   Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mother only carries one photo, because if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

   A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

   Am I a good mother, Susan. Susan: My name is Amy.

   My mother and I play a drinking game. We do a shot every time the debt talks collapse.

   It’s President Obama’s birthday. I can’t believe it’s been 61 years since his mother forged his birth certificate.

   Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.

   Beaver's mother was Barbara Billingsley, you dum@$$!