Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   why is that when you don't agree with anything Obama is doing his "fans" always come back with lame remark about Bush just cause you dont like Obama doesnt mean you are pro Bush ignorant fools.

   translating naughty words on google translate.

   thinks that this is finally some "change" we can believe in............failing!

   thinks people should create their own party instead of complaining about everyone in power.

   just at the doctors office getting a prostate exam, probably shouldn't have eaten beans and saurkraut beforehand

   the guy in the stall next to you.I just made a noise so you know I`m there..

   wonders why people say "that sucks" for bad things; clearly they haven't had any experience that relates to the second word within quotes

   I'll have a Cafe-Moca-Vodka-Valium-Latte to go please...

   your really ugly, please stop trying to take seductive pictures of yourself...

   Nice Legs What time do they open?

   I like to go up to people playing Solitaire and ask "Who's winning?"

   the only blizzard I want to see is from Dairy Queen.

   Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

   Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish... Gimme that fish!

   can't stand Cows. They're way too dramatic. If it's not one thing, it's an udder.

   thinking Starbucks should come out with a Venti Cafe Mocha Xanax Rum STFU

   wondering..uhh...if Wonder Woman's plane was invisible... how the $%@! did she find it?

   seriously ....BACON flavored Vodka !?!?!? Now all you alcoholics that are on the Atkins diet REJOICE !!!!!!! do the fat happy dance...and fall over !!!!

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?