Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in. His head near his mother and his feet kicking my c

   The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.

   Dear Facebook, I'm fully capable of finding my phone friends so if you can do me a favor and stop suggesting them to me like my mother did when I was 5 years old that would be great. Thanks!

   Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.

   *My mother inlaw is so old, that she has an autograph copy of the Bible.

   This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.

   [reviewing security cam footage to see what's eating out of my trash at night] mother of god it's me

   it rude to start asking my mother-in-law for daily child care fees? Her child is a handful and I don't work for free.

   Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.

   When I was a little kid I was under so much pressure when Smokey the Bear said "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" until my mother explained that I really didn't have to do it alone.

   I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.

   The day my mother learned how to use emojis was the day I realized how good we had it with rotary phones

   Every time I’m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.

   Lots of mothers are gonna be surprised when their Mother's Day gift is a barrel of oil

   Mother's Day is over, back to making sandwiches.

   My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”

   My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”

   Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.

   Your sister wives’ moms are technically mother-in-against-the-laws

   Ted Mosby, in the year 2030, told the story of how he met his children’s mother and HE NEVER MENTIONED THE CORONAVIRUS ONCE