Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   part of a complete breakfast

   looking to the 8 ball for all the answers

   not doing what Simon says

   thinking whether he might think of what he is going to think about

   not yet rated.

   throwing peanuts at old ladies

   magically delicious.

   out making some changes in hisher life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!

   "childish. No he's not, yes he is, no he's not, yes he is."

   waiting for the men in white coats to come.

   "coming up next, right after this brief message."

   like a lawyer with the way he is always trying to get you off

   looking at you naked (mood: disappointed)

   brought to you by the letters W T F.

   the walrus

   Pondering the effects of the Reconciliation Budget law on osteopathic medical education

   clapping her hands and stomping her feet because she is happy and she knows it.

   your perfect drug

   If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

   naked under his clothes