life Funny Status Messages

   i feel bad when I see strangers with their zipper down I want to tell them but I feel I would be inviting danger into my life

   What pisses you off more? The fact that I don't need you in my life...or that you can't have me in yours??

   People who gossip need to get their own life, those who listen and believe it need to get a life.

   Life is funny. Well, yours is. To me.

   When life hands you lemons you make lemonade so find somebody with vodka and have a party!!

   Yes, I've made mistakes, but life didn't come with instructions on.

   Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A

   Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.

   Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

   Dear God, it's me again. Can you bring the toolbox? My life needs fixing.

   Fortune Cookie: "Your life will be happy and peaceful." Dear Cookie: What drugs are you on? We should share.

   I life without mistakes, is a life full of mistakes!

   Heard the best pick up line of my life last night: "Excuse me. Are you capable of an intelligent conversation?"

   My heart is on life support and I'm seriously thinking about pulling the plug and collecting the insurance money!

   I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.

   Never think of the past it brings tears, If you think of the future it brings fears, so live life in the present & drink chilled BEERS Bon Okterber Fest

   Sometimes it seems I spend half my life just breathing in.

   Everyone has three lives: their public life, private life, and secret life.

   Life experiences are like quarters, you lose both when you are sitting around on the couch.

   The best things in life are free...for now, wait until the government finds a way to tax you on that!