Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   A daughter asked her mother how to spell pinus, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

   Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mother

   I actually never like to touch baby carrots,,, because I'm afraid the mother will reject them.

   Bristol Palin is not amused with Tina Fey's impression of her mother, Sarah Palin. Perhaps it's was Sarah Palin doing an impression on Tina Fey. No one ever thinks about that.

   Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.

   My Guardian Angel be like "I'm gonna lose my job and end up in hell with this mother f*cker..."

   am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?

   Bernie Sanders got so excited about the hashtag #BoobsForBernie, it's actually a photo of a breastfeeding mother at one of his rallies. Not a Girls Gone Wild Spring Break edition video.

   Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

   Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

   Nipples...Mother Nature's thermometer.

   My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support. Happy Mother's Day!!!

   Good thing my mom's not on Facebook otherwise you would have to read some sappy Happy Mother's Day post from me.

   All Mom's gave birth to a child, except mine she gave birth to a legend!!! **High fives my Mom on Mother's Day**

   Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

   I wanted to serve my wife breakfast in bed but she wouldn't cooperate. By the time I got her tied up so she couldn't get out I had to feed her myself. It got a bit messy, but happy mother's day anyway

   Crap, I accidentally said Happy Mother's Day to my mother in person instead of writing a paragraph on social media. I feel like such a tool

   ........ Yup ...... I too was once a male trapped in a female body ...... But then my mother gave birth ......

   .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.

   I'm wondering...did Bruce Jenner get a father's day gift on father's day, a mother's day gift on Mother's day, or gifts on both days? If he gets gifts on both days, then this all makes sense now.