Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."

   Happy Mother's Day! Mom's are the REAL MVP.

   Does Bruce Jenner get a Mother's Day present this year?

   Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for the womb and board.

   Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!

   Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today

   Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...

   "Sorry, her mother is a pterodactyl" ..... *Me with the screeching toddler in the grocery store.

   Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....

   Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day!"

   Actually, Yes! I do want to see a picture of your Mother-In-Law Eli. Your wife is hot!

   When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.

   Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.

   Apparently today is Mother-In-Law day. Who knew

   Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.

   In mother Russia, Turkey shoots you for Thanksgiving

   Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

   My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..

   My mother in-law is letting me renovate her kitchen. My wife told me to get the cupboards from that Scandinavian company with the short name. Turns out it was IKEA not LEGO,

   Hey 2015... Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, you Dirty Mother Fucker!!!