Friday Funny Status Messages

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   Black Friday. Or as it should be known: "Thanksgiving Is Over, We Now Return You To Your Self-Centered Lives Already In Progress."

   My idea Black Friday is deleting everyone from my friends list who sent me a mass Happy Thanksgiving day meme yesterday.

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on Hang on..... Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".

   This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature

   Roman Catholic dietary law classified aquatic mammals as fish rather than meat. therefore, you are free to eat beaver on Good Friday.

   I’ll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day! Almost on Monday Almost on Tuesday Almost on Wednesday Almost on Thursday Almost on Friday Almost on Saturday Almost on Sunday.!

   Its friday night! Querentine facebook party going done on my wall tonight and your all invited!

   i don't usually brag about my friday night plans but i'm at a party with seven dogs so

   Anyone going early Black Friday shopping after the elections?

   You know how sailors used to get scurvy from not eating citrus fruit/vitamin C? Well if there’s a disease that one gets from eating cheesecake I’m going to have it by Friday around noon.

   I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road

   My girl and I decided never to go to sleep angry at each other. We’ve been awake since Friday

   Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.

   I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road

   Damn, Girl. Are you Black Friday? 'Cause I'm wondering what your deal is.

   Jesus final words on Good Friday " Don’t eat my chocolate. I’ll be back Monday."

   I live every day like it's Friday the 13th.