snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   People act like they've never seen winter before. It happens every f'n year, ya know?

   If I win the lottery I'm going to travel the world asking the citizens if they've ever heard of snow. When someone says WTF IS SNOW I'm home

   Wondering why everyone says "I'm not worried about ME driving in the snow. It's all the idiots out there." At some point, someone has to be that idiot.

   i rather watch grass grow in winter then watch farewell. Bye obama

   It is times like this that make me laugh at people from the south.Hurricanes & tornados, people still go to work, Snow, deserted streets and empty grocery stores.

   If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren't there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?

   A terrible waitress asked me for a tip last night.... I said don't make snow angels at dog parks.......

   Winter seems more like a booty call than a three-month relationship.

   Don't eat the green snow!!!

   * A russian couple, Rudolf & Tosha are driving home. Tosha: Looks like it's starting to snow. Rudolf: It's rain. Tosha: no I think it's snow. Rudolf: Rudolf the "red" knows rain dear.

   I don't need drugs to have a good time. But I do need them to focus, avoid depression, survive winter, fall asleep, stay awake, control my blood pressure, calm myself down, and to avoid choking the hell out of stupid people.

   It looks like everyone wants Jon Snow to play NFL...he wont bend a knee

   Global Warming must be true, it seems a lot of snow flakes are melting this year.

   Russia’s been barred from the 2018 Winter Olympics. No word yet on whether they’ll be barred from the 2018 U.S. elections.

   I waited too long.. The stores ran out of winter solstice glasses.

   it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?

   How was the winter solstice? I missed it because the stores were out of solstice glasses

   This is the first good sized snow fall of the season and honestly the weather on TV is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a two.

   I must be getting old. Since when does 2 to 4 inches of snow become a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called flurries, and we complained it wasn't enough to even have a good snowball fight, let along close schools.

   Lefties eat yellow snow on Winter Solstice.