One Funny Status Messages

   Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

   Yes, I saw you dance. No, I don't have a dollar

   this country is not ran by democracy, but by communism.

   A Glimpse by defintion, is an impermanent thing!

   my drinking team has a football problem

   i guess Farmville is cool, if your into doing thing with the animals

   Panty lines are so nasty, your a grown a$s woman sh!t put on a thong, g-string, boy shorts, or go panty less if you have too

   my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

   It's better to have a gun and not need it than to not have a gun and need it

   it kitty litter if you throw a cat out a car window

   I see a lite in the distance....could be a Miller Lite, I better go check it out!

   you know why guns are better the woman? You can put a silencer on a gun

   I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.

   i have nothing against god, it's just his fan club that i'm against

   Health experts recommend 3 to 4 servings of fruit a day. So I wanna know exactly how many Coronas with limes is that gonna take?

   I don't know about you but putting the Kardashian's on a credit card to promote financial responsability makes as much sense as getting a nun to be a spokes woman for a condom company.

   Morning cardio routine: Stretch. Gravity Hand Slam on snooze button. Pull arm back under covers. Roll over. Wait 9 Minutes. Repeat

   Honk, if you want to see my finger!

   And the Lord said unto John, "Come fourth and receive eternal life..." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

   figured out that plastic surgery allows women to make their outer appearance resemble their inner appearance -- fake.