Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!

   Funny fat guy fall on face! -The Hangover

   so really..what was Meatloaf talking about when he sang he'll do anything for love, but he wont do that?

   it takes six licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop! (with a slight crunch)

   “A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.”

   i'd run away from home, but my Mom wont let me cross the street.

   You know if you roll down fast and steady enough, it gives the illusion of electric windows.

   R.I.P. To my seamonkey Oscar~10-20-84 to 10-26-84. You are missed!

   Possible slogan for inferior Tampon Co. "We're not number one, but we're still up there!".

   What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction? Boneless chicken

   "Back in my day we never went to school, the Indians taught us!"

   Teacher: Imagine you're in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do? Boy: Easy, stop imagining.

   "That Wonka is a liar!", exclaimed by my six year old son when he realized his Everlasting Gobstopper was getting smaller and changing color.

   as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".

   Cause nobody says, "Slow down, theres a security gaurd!"

   I'll baffle them with brilliance, then I'll let you talk.

   The only phrase I remember growing up was, "Don't put your hands back there!".