friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Black Friday is when Kim Kardashian shops for a new husband.

   Black Friday is all the companies telling you they could sell their products at these prices everyday of the year....kinda reminding of us of how stupid we are and how greedy they are!!

   Black Friday... America's version of "Running of the bulls!"

   Notice the same people that complain about being broke are the same people that are updating status saying out shopping on Black Friday.

   The best part of Black Friday? Waiting outside the stores for exhausted women on endorphin highs to come out.

   wish they had black friday deals for college tuitions tho..

   The only good Black Friday is the one with Chris Tucker and Ice Cube!!

   I went to go get some buffalo wings from KFC and they were completely sold out! I'm not surprised. After all, it is black Friday.

   Now that Black Friday is over, wonder if Mexican Saturday means things are free??

   I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they bought on Black Friday

   so much for black friday at a bar

   Monday morning is a slap in the face to wake us up from our weekend daydream.

   Hate Mondays.Annoy Tuesday.Ignore Wednesday.Smile Thursday.Love Friday.Enjoy Saturday.Damn Sunday!

   I disagree with Kay Jewelers. On any given Friday or Saturday night I'd bet more kisses start with Bud Light than Kay.

   Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of big regret and big hangover for Sunday.

   I've come to the realization that I have attained the pinnacle of middle aged complacency. My Friday nights are mostly spent with the remote in one hand, and my b***s in the other.

   I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.

   Turned my brain off for the weekend and now I can't stop coming up with ideas for Adam Sandler movies.

   Unless you woke up inside a live shark, I don't want to hear about your weekend.

   I got so wasted this weekend I kept spilling drinks...all over the inside of my stomach.