life Funny Status Messages

   Just once in my life, I'd actually like to see a liar's pants catch on fire.

   If I block you on social media and you see me in public, the block still applies in real life.

   It's kinda weird realizing that we are the last generation on this earth to know what life was like before social media.

   Who's the faigg with no life?

   Wondering if life is easier when you're totally insane? I'm about halfway there and I want to know if I need to speed up or slow the hell down!

   Don't judge me by my Facebook posts. I'm much worse in real life because there's no community standards.

   I need a scary movie that's gonna make me paranoid for the rest of my life.

   If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life.

   If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.

   Remember when Scar in The Lion King promised the hyenas a better life in order to use them to gain power, but when they realised he lied to them they ate him? Something to think about.

   "I used to think that my life was a cringe compilation, but now, I realize it's a try not to laugh challenge."

   The 👎 blowboy needs a life.

   I didn't even realize how broke I was until someone stole my identity and it ruined their life.

   What doesn’t kill you, makes you kind of nervous for the rest of your life.

   I'm mad about how fast my life went from MySpace to MyChart.

   Based on my life choices so far, my guardian angel lied on their resume.

   Life is like having a brazilian wax. The more times you have the carpet ripped out from under you, the less painful it gets.

   Life hack: Rent the same type of car that you own and switch the tires. Best $39.95 I ever spent.

   I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a daily basis can add up to three years to your life. If that's true, I'm gonna live forever.

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. So many of you think he's great LMFAO