life Funny Status Messages

   Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life? ...... I do.

   Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?

   If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals..”

   Life Lesson: The ONLY person that can pledge 100% loyalty to you is YOURSELF.

   Please don't say piracy is a victimless crime... Escape Plan 2 is 1h 45m of my life I will never get back again

   Life is just one, giant, wrong hole.

   Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!

   My life is like when you're holding your laundry and a sock falls and you go to pick it up and two more fall and eventually everything is on the floor.

   Leaving your window open for an hour in the summertime and then the cast from f*@k!?g bug's Life start producing their second film!!

   There are 3 unwritten rules fop a good life. #1.........................#2........................ #3.........................

   As soon as the new iPhone was announced, a weird thing happened. My old iPhone started begging for its life.

   Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself, call me, then I will.

   If I'm ever on life support, unplug me..... then plug me back in. See if that works.

   Life is an ever expanding list of things that you used to enjoy.

   As a New Yorker " aight bet " could mean " I totally agree with you" or possibly your life is in danger

   I’m, like, 3 showers and an intervention away from getting my life together.

   Ciick-fil-a surprises Florida man for his 100th birthday with free food for life.

   there are two words in life that will open many doors for you: pull and push.

   If the best things in life are free, why am I still charged when I go to the liquor store?

   Real life friends? In this economy??