santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Last minute Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.

   Dear Santa...Thank You for the response, but telling me to review my web browser history, wasn't what I meant! But, well played Santa...Well played...

   Every year, grandma gets run over by a reindeer. I wonder if this year, if I left some extra cookies, Santa'd aim for my ex instead?

   U know you mexican when you wrap christmas presents with a knife instead of scissors.lol

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.

   Found an industrial size combo pack of Mop-N-Glo and Mr. Clean for my wife for Christmas.

   I asked Santa for Natalie Portman for Christmas. He said "No, you'll shoot her eye out".

   Thanks for the xmas card with your kids who I don't even know ..standing with some dog....that I didnt know you had....with some lady.. ..im guessing is your wife.....Merry xmas to you to!

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures

   if you have been naughty this Christmas be happy if you get coal...there are blind snowmen out there that would kill for it!

   Xmas idea. Mistletoe tied to my belt buckle. Hope this works.

   Dear God, When I was young I said always wanted to be a hip-hop rapper...Not a Christmas gift wrapper...in a mall...on a rainy Wednesday. FML

   is excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?

   it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...no money, pretty stressed, freezing cold and running nose!

   Whew!!.. just in time ... I got all my Christmas shopping done with one fell swoop... I hope everyone enjoys their Netflicks trial offers :)

   Dear Santa, My wish 4 this year is a big, fat bank account & a slim body. Pls don't mix these 2 up like you did last year!!!!!

   Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks

   would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.

   Trying to find a website with all the WikiLeaks information just in case they also have Santa's naughty list!