Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Yesterday I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.

   In honor of Mother's Day, I'm going to subtly disapprove of everything people do today by loudly exhaling.

   named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact Psychopathic Maniac turns 3 tomorrow

   HOODTRANSLATIONS: "Bruh I got da whip"= My mother was kind enough to let me use the car Today.....

   You know when you rearrange "Mother -In-Law" in any language you still get "Women Hitler!"......Got a PuertoRican-Haitian Hitler to deal with

   Anyone who says single moms don't do both roles of a mother & father when the father doesn't spend time or money with his children is THE DEAD BEAT we are referring to!!

   Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is!!

   Am I the only mother***king one who doesn't understand a f***king word that Katt Williams motherf***king says?

   Our constantly changing mother earth....The original bi-polar.

   I'm pretty sure I got my sense of humor from my mother because when I was 10 years old my Dad said he sent her to the funny farm.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.

   i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.

   what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.

   what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.

   Got my passport application forms back today..... Apparently in the Place of Birth section:"between my mother's legs" isn't an acceptable answer.

   My girlfriend went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her "b!tch refresher course".

   Some kid told my son knee pads are for pussies. I told him no, that's 'maxi' pads. And his mother should see a doctor.

   My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.

   The reason folks who don't work @ Walmart know the deficit was 11 trillion in 2007 is because they graduated from high school and their sister in-wife isn't also their mother.