Funny Status Messages

   yes tebow is leaving . . . but that is not considered a medical reason . . unless everyone is dehydrated from crying so much

   this just in....Florida is flooding due to all the tears from devastated Florida fans

   you're oddly sophisticated in a paradoxal mannor leaving me in this difficult conundrum. it puzzles me beyond recovery. I spend weeks crying because I cannot liberate myself from this bewildered state. I even began to think that my dog was a large gerbil.

   wants to personally apologize for those that couldn't get their gifts from Santa: He died of laughter when I told him I had been nice all year......

   There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

   Drinking beer and watching Nascars , People ask me what's my favorite kind of beer I tell am an open one!

   Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

   Watching the neighbors climb in their SUV with dirt shovels and a rolled up carpet hmmm.... oh well

   Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.

   Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

   A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

   thinks Facebook needs another relationship status: commitment phobe

   I trust you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do tonight

   there are no shortcuts to any place worth going...

   Now is the time to get ready for 2010! Whatever your plans, write them out and map your way!

   thinks the Amsterdam smoke shops should begin limiting marijuana consumption to the Nigerians that are about to board planes heading to Detroit.

   has the 3 best friends that anyone can have. ♫♪ ♫♪ ♫♪ (from the movie "Hangover")

   Gotta [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to make you Holler

   Life is too complicated in the morning.

   Even Its Complicated Relationship Status iz Too Complicated For Me