life Funny Status Messages

   Give the gift of life. Become an organ donor. Hot singles in your area will appreciate it.

   I always thought my adult life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.

   Nothing has held me back in life more than not knowing which U.S. National Park I am. If only there was a way to find out.

   If it weren't for marriage, many of us would go thru life thinking we had no faults at all.

   May every one of your life's ups and downs...occur in bed.

   life is short…smile while you still have teeth

   Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.

   It's never too early to get life size cardboard cuts-outs of yourself made up for this year's Christmas presents.

   The very best time to re-examine your life is after you’ve had too much to drink on Memorial Day long weekend.

   .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.

   It's not stalking if you're documenting their life for a mixtape.

   If you carry a gas can in your trunk, you should rethink your life plan...

   My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.

   I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.

   Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.

   If she spits on it first, you better get ready for the night of your life!

   'Battery life' is an interesting phrase...it signifies thas your smartphone's battery has a life, but you don't.

   Dad Tip: Read fairytales backwards to your daughter. She'll think it's good to give up being a princess for a life of housecleaning.

   If he wants you to be in his life, he'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot on the couch.

   Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.