Funny Status Messages

   I have never heard the word Weiner said so much on TV before.....it's like an on air sausage-fest.

   I hear Hillary is standing behind Senator Weiner. I guess if she can stand behind a slick Willey, she can stand behind a Weiner...

   These kids today need to show a little respect to those of us who fought for, and won the right to party.

   Got damn shame, the cast of '16 and Pregnant' are the future cast of '32 and Grandparents'

   wondering why I have NEVER seen a pregnant Asian?? Where's all the Most Fruitful Yuki's hidin anyway??

   thankful that Anthony Weiner's last name wasnt 'Butthole'.

   it just me or did anyone else notice that Bob Marley never looked like a "Bob."

   Dont wear white shorts and a blue thong and get mad when our eyes lock...thats like sitting at a bar and getting mad when the bartender asks if you want a drink

   Seriously, there's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos.

   The more people I meet, the more I like my damn dog.

   A man's home might be his castle, but his wife is usually the one who rules it.

   If you didn't hear it with your OWN ears or see it with your OWN eyes, don't go passing it on with your OWN damn mouth!"

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"

   When going commando the the word "hurry" should not even be in your vocabulary.. just sayin.

   Dear students, I know when you`re texting. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, teacher.

   You have the perfect face for the radio.

   Domino's pizza is now made with real cheese." Well, WTF where you using before?

   Dominos use to be made with saddness and disappointment with just a sprinkle of fry grease and hooker spit once, but now it's made with "real cheese" and failure.

   Watching "The Voice" and can't help but think that Cee Lo looks like Carl Winslow.

   I look at cold sores as a reflection of too much trust