life Funny Status Messages

   Whenever life knocks me down, I just roll over and gaze at the stars!

   If you ever see your girl smiling at her phone, she probably laughing at my posts and picturing our life together after she leaves you.

   If you don't grab your girls booty at least 46 times a day, you're living life all wrong.

   My girlfriend just stormed out of an ice cream shop because they ran out of sprinkles, in case you’re wondering if I’m winning at life.

   Gotta grab your girls booty in public to let other guys know you bout that life.

   Nothing says you have been friend-zoned for life like when she invites you to her wedding.

   I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I'm bored.

   Before you decide to spend the rest of your life with somebody, watch them load a dishwasher.

   Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates

   Monday's don't suck... Your life does

   Nurse::::You unplugged your grandmothers life support ,, well excuse me lady but ..My phone had 1% life left..

   Happy anniversary to the love of my life, and her husband Steve.

   Dear gym addicts, We don't care if it's leg day, chest day or arm day. Today is get a life day. Yours sincerely, The rest of the world

   Well another day has passed, and I haven’t used algebra once. Oh and a great big thanks must go to Facebook for greeting me this evening! Yay! My life is complete!

   If getting ignored in real life is not enough, try twitter.

   Thank you for pointing out that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I thought it was yesterday.

   My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.

   I thought my life was miserable until I saw yours.

   Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?

   Most of the time my life is going great, the other times I am just sober.