santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....

   I asked my daughter to make a list of things she wants from Santa, and her reply was "I don't need to make Santa a wish list, daddy. He's been watching me all year...he knows what I want!" I'm &#%ked.

   Christmas shopping is a pain in the cash.

   All I want for Christmas is a Komodo Dragon named Pookie.

   I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping. I took my girlfriend into 8 different pubs without a drink, and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

   Fricken spellcheck. Looks like Santa will be bringing me a nice piece of glass this year.

   Santa is too real! I saw him outside the liquor store last night and he smells of Bourbon and Marlboros.

   I'm sending my friends Justin Beiber CDs because fruitcake is a traditional Christmas gift.

   thinks Santa should send all the naughty people Justin Bieber CDs instead of coal for Christmans

   i like to say a BIG HAPPY CHRISTMAS to the person who dropped money on the floor today.thank you

   After I get Christmas bought, I will be so broke that come New Years I'm gonna have to party like it's $19.99

   Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.

   if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...

   Spending Christmas in a little town called Red Bud. I'm sure it will be a fine holiday experience.

   Im not an angry person...but that chick singing christmas carols in the hyundai commercial makes me want to punch a sleeping baby in the face!!!!

   Lindsay Lohan is spending the holidays in rehab, poor girl..no friends..no family, no drugs..no alcohol..I'm just sayin!!

   Nothing brings out the worst in human nature like a crowded mall. :) I can't wait to start Christmas shopping!

   was surprised to receive a compliment about his VW Jetta today - especially at a Mazda/GM car dealership. The salesman said: "Well German engineering, you can't go wrong. I just can't believe they killed so many Jews. You have a Merry Christmas."

   Santa better take me off the naughty list or I will black out the moon on Monday night.

   OK Santa I followed your stupid rules all year...it was hard not killing anyone or punching anyone in the face but I did it.....so If Milla Jovovich isn't under my tree this year you'll be first on the hit list Fat Man!