life Funny Status Messages

   Life isn't measured by how many likes we get, but rather the moments that take our likes away.

   Shout out to the top 5 kinds of boats, row, tug, sail, life and Ricky the Dragon Steam

   Funny how the greatest threat to a human being's life on earth can be traced right back to a fellow human being.

   Feeling Bored? Post a status on Facebook that says " Hillary Clinton 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.

   I think I skipped the part of life where I was supposed to learn how to get rich.

   n't it ironic how life starts sucking at the exact same time that you wake up every day?

   The average octopus spends two thirds of its life rolling its sleeves up

   Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.

   Its pretty cool how when you ask yoursefl, "What's the worst that can happen?" Life stops what its doing as is like, "Here, let me show you"

   as many times as I've been called "that mother f*cker" in my life, I better be getting a Mother's Day card and gift too.

   When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.

   Some people are weak and can't handle life so they turn to drugs. Some turn to religion.

   If saying a bunch of stupid crap on the internet is what life's all about, then I'm living the dream.

   needs a woman to give me Blue balls to celebrate BB Kings life...

   My life is a very complicated drinking game.

   If you had a good time, the best time of your life and you don't post it on social media, did it really happen?

   Treating others the way you what them to treat you is a great way to live your life. It may also quite possibly be sexual harassment...

   Don't screw up your life; that's your family's job

   My life is loosely based on a true story.

   You guys wanna know why my wife and I have such a great relationship? Its because I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.