Funny Status Messages

   xT: Quotes My Parents Say I Spend To Much Time On Facebook And Should Go Outside . Thank God For Laptops And Wifi.

   I dont hate Mondays. I just cant stand the 24 hours they occupy.

   Have you ever held your money and ever thought "I hope this hasn't been up a stripper's butt"...

   It's been exactly a year since I quit drinking. And 364 days since I started again.

   Lady Gaga says she takes her fashion inspiration from Princess Diana. It's just a shame it's not from how she looked before the crash.

   Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.

   if I ever win the lottery the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a priest, a rabbi and a minister to walk into bars with me

   so happy that McDonald's doesn't sell hot dogs. I just don't think I could order a "McWeiner" with a straight face! Don't even get me started on super-sizing

   sometimes does the Jedi Wave at automatic doors, just to feel better.

   What is the most spontaneous thing you plan on doing?

   Money=Problems So Problems=Time Time=money=Girls therefor Girls=problems

   begining to suspect that my friend's tell me they don't have any single friends for me to meet so that if they in fact become single again they will have dibs.

   Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs

   Mother nature is bipolar... I've been trying to get her into therapy but she just threatens me with a hormonal disorder so...

   Girls 'round here have kissed so many frogs, they're starting to look like tadpoles. Attractive?! Probably to a water snake or a dragonfly!

   Since "nobody's perfect," I'm gonna go ahead and take the initiative...

   Sorry friends......But from the advice of my lawyer, it's in my best interest not to try out Facebook's new 'Questions' feature tonight : (

   MONEY can't buy life, but can give you a lot of fake friends. Beware!

   Sorry, I can't follow you on twitter...I'm a leader!

   Finals kicked my ass last semester, but this time around, I'm feeling like I've been well trained by the Mr. Miyagi of Finals---just been waxing them on and off, straight up kicking their asses!