love Funny Status Messages

   Trump In 1776: Women love me because they'll be hung by a rope in the town square if they declare otherwise.

   Love to use the Ouija board to pester my dead girlfriends.

   I used to dream of that fairytale kind of love. Now I'll settle for someone who'll gain weight faster than me.

   Would love to know what gross pizza joint the Ninja Turtles ordered from that they never questioned delivery to a sewer.

   ..... LOVE comes Naturally ........ HATE .... is learned .....

   If you love Jesus more than your husband then start praying the next time you need a jar open.

   If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot

   Bernie Sanders endorcing Hillary Clinton feels so much like when the girl you love starts dating the guy you hate most.

   Stop checking my Status , Go and love your GF

   I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.

   As you Mature... you learn that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in.

   Love hot yoga because it's over 100 degrees with someone yelling at you. It's like growing up Italian in Florida.

   On a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.

   Love kickboxing and think there should be kick versions of more sports, like kickbowling and kickbadminton.

   I love the summer because I love how my ass and thighs form an irreparable bond with the car's scorching hot leather seat

   Me: I sure do Love watching the Olympic Girls Volleyball Games because they are So Talented. Wife: Yea Right

   "We don't like any of this! Wait, we LOVE this thing here!" -The Internet

   School gets out at 2:15 pm so if you don't get in the pickup line by 1:00 you don't love your kid.

   The Story Of Milk: Good milk. Bad milk. Disgusting milk. Dangerous milk. Cheese! I love a happy ending.

   Love to collect call people randomly, just to remind them that that is somehow still a thing.