love Funny Status Messages

   College kids please choose a career in something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because that dream job isn't hiring....

   I love eating ice soup the day before every pay day.

   Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them...

   I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? Drink some coffee. Headache? Drink coffee. Cold? Drink coffee. Someone makes your angry? Bust them in the head with the cup!!!

   A Perfect Question To Ask At Any Job Interview: Do you monitor email and internet usage as I love to look at hardcore porn sites during office hours?

   I don't remember myself, but my parents love to tell others about the time they found me dancing naked on the kitchen table to the final Jeopardy music at age 2 or 3.

   Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.

   Although I love food, I don't consider myself to be a "Foodie." I'm more along the lines of a glutton.

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.

   I feel sorry for people that haven't found their true love. My ex is on her 5th.

   Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.

   Funny all those people that love Prince and don't mind his drug abuse probably complained about Lance Armstrong

   Me In 2016 Shaking An Magic 8 Ball: "Will I find love this year?" Magic 8 Ball says, "Hahaha get a cat." D'oh!!!

   Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the Government involved so you can't leave....

   Sometimes I step outside to look up at the stars and think to myself....damn I love peeing outside!!!

   I love coffee, but if someone with a British accent offers me crumpets and tea, l would totally cheat.

   Pro tip: Fall in love with someone who will treat you how Kanye treats Kanye.

   I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

   I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.