love Funny Status Messages

   Heavy D: Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Scientist: Containment protocol, we can't have everybody catching feelings.

   I'm just looking for a little love and financial domination. Is that too much to ask?

   Relationship status: I don't need love. I need money right now.

   I love lesbians... Only when they let me

   If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.

   I don't like Hot Pockets at all. But I imagine that people who like scalding the roof of their mouths while getting diarrhea all in the same day probably love them.

   Ground Control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Check ignition and may God's love be with you.

   I love your warm body. I love the way you smell, taste. The way you wake me up inside. Coffee

   While drunk me would love to grab your butt...sober me would probably agree

   Somtimes I get the feeling that maybe the love of my life got stuck up in a Condom

   In a final selfless gesture, Abe Vigoda will be donating his ear hair to Locks Of Love.

   *date.... GIRL: I love hot tubs. Do you love hot tubs?..... LOBSTER: That's like the third time you've asked me that.

   I wanted to touch you, taste your sweetness with soft aromas beckoning me - it was just the beginning of our tragic love story. *pastries

   Love me like Oprah loves bread!

   Valentines Day: A woman is sitting at home with her husband and says, "I love you." He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."

   Women and Cats: I've never understood why women love cats. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

   This scale will only tell you the numerical value of your gravitational pull. It will not tell you how beautiful you are, how much your friends & family love you, or how amazing you are.

   Roses are red. I picked you a daisy. Will you still love me when you realize I'm crazy?

   Quick, someone take one for the team and fall in love with me. Happy Valentine's Day.

   The love between a man and a woman acts like a mousetrap to lure a man towards a woman enticing him like a pure cheese, but is secretly tied with a trap.