life Funny Status Messages

   Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you've made in their life. It's not me. I think your an idiot.

   Facebook can turn a real life devil into an online angel with a well written status...Power of the internet!!!

   yes, I have made mistakes, but last time I checked, life didn't come with instructions!

   Life is no longer a box of chocolates, I ate them all.

   Ever notice how on those Life in Prison documentaries on the Discovery Channel that the prisoners they interview are a lot more respectful and polite than the people on the outside that you encounter every day?

   You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   Some people wait their entire life for their ship to come in..not realizing that they are standing in an airport...

   Some people wait their entire life for their status to be "liked"..not realizing that it has been p0sted a million times before..

   Life and I have creative differences.

   One sure sign that youve had a had a successful commute is that someone flips you the bird at least once. After all, How can you tell if you're succeeding in life without without metrics?

   Not every relationship is to learn a life lesson. Sometimes it's for a new steak marinade, unsafe sexual position or where not to vacation.

   If you've never manually separated your butt cheeks to amplify a mediocre fart into a fantastic one, we could never be real life friends.

   I think the only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of girls,,, and having ALL of them like it.

   Fellas; If your fiancé designs her own engagement ring, prepare for a life of sex on your birthday and holidays only.

   I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...

   Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.

   Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?

   Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they're paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is.

   If you have to air up your car tire more than once a week, life isn't working out like you planned...