Funny Status Messages

   I'm sorry if you cant understand, but I need a Radio inside my hand!!!

   I had a friend on Facebook who's status said "Suicidal..Standing on the edge of a cliff"...... So I poked him

   Standing outside on my front lawn with my pants down waiting for Google Earth to pass by and take a picture

   im gonna put a ringtone of a baby crying and put it in a case. Then when it rings I will start punching the bag saying shut up BI*CH!!

   We need a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings.like,"Well I'm bored let's go brush our teeth"!

   when I was young I used to think cheerios was doughnut seeds.

   Damn you advertise commercial that "Big Time Rush ft Snoop Dogg -Boy Friend" Imvoluntary stuck on repeat in my Head....!!!

   I don't understand the point of the Shake Weight; if you need weights, wouldn't you already jiggle enough???

   A beautiful girl without a personality, is like a Lamborghini without an engine.

   blah. with all this warm weather, the opportunities to write my name in cursive in the snow are disappearing.

   White Castle; because I like my chicken in the form of cheerio's

   What's the difference between a water bottle and puberty? A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.

   ‎1. Go to Google maps. 2. Go to 35 Sampsonia Way, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. 3. Click street view. 4. Turn the view around. 5. ??? 6. lol

   Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!

   went to pizza hut and there was sign outside .It said "look out for the new Menu"... I walked in and it and it hit me in the back of the head

   Censorship makes me sooo (bleeping) angry

   used to be a deep-sea diver but I quit because I couldn't stand the pressure

   Women drivers! I was behind one on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? She actually turns left! How am I supposed to prepare myself with these f-kin mind games?!

   NEWS: Lady Gaga to do naked skydive for charity. You've got to admire her balls.

   The new facebook photo viewer is so Biebish!