nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Wondering, Don't you idiot Desert Dwellers realize Americans are watching Football today and could give a $hit less about your protest.. @wasteofenergy

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   There are females getting ignored RIGHT NOW because football is back. Y'all will get the sidechick treatment all season. Keep ya head up tho

   Ladies.. Yall had 7 months to get mentally prepared for Football Season. We dealt with yall Loser Wives shows all year!

   I suggest the Jets put Tim Tebow at cornerback to replace Darrell Revis. Nobody can keep the football away from receivers like he can.

   I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002

   Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.

   watches Sunday football with you all day... Wife that girl.

   Thursday Night Football on the same time during the Vice Presidential debate....well played NFL, well played.

   Dear fucktards at baseball games in football team gear. It doesn't count; you look like you're lost…

   MY Fantasy Football thing is about the Cheerleaders.

   "Please scream as loud as you possibly can," says the dentist to his patient. "Why should I do that?" "The waiting room's full and the football game's on in ten minutes."

   David Beckham does some amazing football tricks.. I hear that he managed to hit Katherine Jenkins chin with two balls.

   9 year old girl in boys football league with 232 carries, ran for 1,911 yards, 35 tds, and 65 tackles?! WTF?! Young lady is an inspiration!!! Never let society limit your dreams!!!

   "I wanted to watch football on NBC but this figure skating they're showing is cool too". --said no one ever

   Listening to Obama talk about the economy is like listening to a chick talk about football.

   Judging by the empty seats at Dolphin's games, football is doomed in Miami. Time to realize it's soccer and thug roundball city down there. Will the last American to leave Miami please bring the goalposts?

   When my girlfriend's football team wins it makes her horny, so I just keep replaying the one time they did. I'm not stupid.

   I am confused did Roethlisberger hurt his arm playing football or rap!ng somebody?

   I get tired of all the drama of family getting mad and running out the door every Thanksgiving! I believe a man is allowed to watch football naked in his own house!