love Funny Status Messages

   My mom always told me alcohol was the enemy, the bible says Love your enemy. Case Closed

   I wish I loved anything as much as some of you love to criticize & attack each other.

   I love earth, except the people on it.

   I love bourbon and bourbon loves me. It's the most functional relationship I ever had in my life.

   I think it's funny how women that love expensive things give themselves away for next to nothing.

   The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping.

   I wish someone could love me as much as I love looking forward to my next meal.

   When I say I'm going to "woo" you, it's a reference to my love for John Woo films, so I'll be punching you & throwing doves in your face.

   I'd love to give whoever designed the iPhone 5 a car that refills quickly at the pump but only goes 10 miles before needing another refill

   Why is it always the ugly people who have to post pics of themselves every other day? You might love the camera but it’s obvious the camera does not love you back. So put the camera down and stop scaring little children with your pics.

   Pets are so easy to love. They are honest and react to kindness without wanting to know what's in your bank. Humans could take a lesson.

   In love, you either win someone's heart or lose your liver... !

   True love is giving your significant other a sip from your beer glass... a real f*cking small sip though... !

   I saw a woman put a chunk of butter in her mouth. Then buttered her corn on the cob by rubbing it on her mouth. I think I might be in love.

   i love going to church. especially when they pass around free money

   Star Wars fans never get laid because they are looking for love in Alderaan places.

   why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

   Imma have my own restaurant called Bacon On It....making foods you love with dun dun dun Bacon on it

   Me: You have a horrible memory ... Wife: Well, I guess that's why I still love you.

   My new girlfriend said a small d*ck shouldn't be a problem as long as we truly love each other. This was right before she showed it to me.