BEGO Funny Status Messages

   We text 24/7, but when we meet, it's so awkward.

   If you're easy to get, then you're easy to forget.

   Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects.

   Spending quality time with the people that really matter reminds me of who I am and recharges my love, hope and drive. I'm forever grateful.

   I hate when I walk into Abercrombie and Fitch and I see pictures of me, all over their walls..

   Mission Impossible: Not eating a French Fry on the way home from the drive thru.

   The perfect woman: 1. Beautiful but doesn't let it get to her head. 2. Intelligent without needing to prove it. 3. Funny as hell.

   The moment you understand the value of life, is the moment you die.

   Wait, did Peyton Manning get traded to the Broncos or the Falcons?

   Ugly girls are like prime numbers - nothing will go into them except themselves.

   It's God's job to judge the terrorists...it's our mission to arrange the meeting." -U.S. Marines

   You unfriended me? Wow, you sure taught me a lesson.

   There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.

   They will take you for granted as long as they know you will always take them back.

   Why the f$ck are you driving under the speed limit when you were in such a hurry to pull out in front of me?

   The words that make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life = "I need to talk to you."

   Cougars: The younger women may have the energy, but they have the experience.

   We will probably never understand why girls fall madly in love with douchebags.

   So they pay $1 million for commercials of starving kids but they can't feed them?

   A true friend thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.