PTV Funny Status Messages

   blah. with all this warm weather, the opportunities to write my name in cursive in the snow are disappearing.

   White Castle; because I like my chicken in the form of cheerio's

   ‎1. Go to Google maps. 2. Go to 35 Sampsonia Way, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. 3. Click street view. 4. Turn the view around. 5. ??? 6. lol

   Remember: warning labels exist because someone failed at using the product correctly. scary when you think about windshield sun covers and the warning "do not drive while intact"

   I feel like a million bucks today! Just wish I had luck finding a bank that will accept self esteem as a form of payment

   If only Dave Chappelle was still around to say "I'm Charlie Sheen b*tch. It's a celebration b*tches."

   I can usually figure out many parties I've been to lately by counting the extra lighters I woke up with in my pocket.

   If you don't have a love in your life, don't worry. If you keep living a life with no regrets, either your love will come or someone will regret living their life without you.

   My condolences to Snoop and the rest of the Dogg family. RIP Nate Dogg

   wondering if there's a business in Facebook psych evaluation? after reading status after status you would think instead if it saying "what's on your mind?" it says "how crazy do you want your friends to think you are?"

   Walk into kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote you lost 30 minutes ago

   I feel like a ninja when I wish people happy birthday on Facebook at 12:01am

   I had this crazy dream that I was on facebook writing about how I hate my insomnia. Oh wait (posted at 2am)

   I can use facebook for things other than finding a partner now that I can count on the gas pump to screw me

   Look at it this way; if the world's meant to end in 2012, at least you won't have to pay $10/gal for gas

   A thunderstorm is God's way of saying his electronics will always be better than yours

   That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked

   I like how Facebook tells me I found these friends using their friend finder. um no I found these friends before I had hair on my balls back when I could have been rich had I thought of Facebook

   hey look on the bright side LeBron. you have all those endorsement deals including the one who just called for you. wants you to be the new face of the board game "sorry"

   I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends