Elbow Funny Status Messages

   SEX is not the answer!! Sex IS the question... 'Yes' is the answer! :)

   can't wait til menopause do us part...

   would like to offer you a helpful tip : Build a bridge.....AND JUMP OFF IT!!

   just seen the ex and now sitting here wondering... What was I smoking and drinking throughout THAT whole relationship!

   give us back Heath Ledger in replacement for the whole cast of the Twilight Series and Justin Beiber.... Fair trade?

   Dear lady with 4 screaming children at the supermarket.. I would like to either discipline your children or slap you in the face for not learning to control them..

   : Halloween.. The only time of the year where it's ok to take candy from a stranger

   accidentally burnt dinner.. probably a good thing I'm dressed like witch for everytime I open the door, smoke from inside the house comes out and the little kids thinks it's cool

   wants a dirty picture of you so I can add it to my Xmas wishlist to send to Santa

   : Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I've got five fingers, the middle one's for you.

   just got my Xmas wishlist back from Santa with a little note attached... It said "LMAO! HELL NO!!!!

   : OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!

   doesn't know whether last night's muchness wrapped up all the partying of 2010 or kickstarted another crazy year of fun fun FUN!

   gonna go to church to confess my sins but I drank so much last night I can't remember them.

   that a friend in need is a friend indeed, but a 'friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves.

   : the only A+ I've gotten in life is my blood type

   : Every day should be 'HUMP DAY'.... but not the Wednesday kind.

   lost the key to my imagination, and now I can't start my unicorn

   : Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.

   : My neighbours liked my music so much, the called the cops to come and listen.