Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon 99% fat free
←Rate | 01-23-2009 22:37 by Adam Comments (0)  


   messageicon now available in widescreen.
←Rate | 11-30-2008 11:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you die in a jihad, you get 70 virgins. Unfortunately, they're all Persian.
←Rate | 03-06-2010 01:11 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Thanks to A.I seeing a baby with a Mullet and a beard seems perfectly normal these days
←Rate | 06-04-2025 17:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the days when getting tested meant you were sleeping around.
←Rate | 01-11-2023 04:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let the pain and suffraging begin.
←Rate | 11-09-2016 15:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all of trump's space force talk. Will he soon refer him self as the new rocket man?
←Rate | 06-30-2018 22:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a reminder: it reads WE THE PEOPLE. We’re all in this together as HUMANS. Doesn’t mean we own this planet as a religion or race.
←Rate | 07-25-2018 23:33 by Meh Comments (1)  


   messageicon The only thing I can say about Janis Joplin is that she looks like she smelled bad.
←Rate | 10-18-2020 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have not seen anyone mad about the mermaid being black . Except the people that want to people mad ... stopped getting Jussie Smolette its all in your mind
←Rate | 07-10-2019 13:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon He had no known links to t errorist organisations? Just being a m ulslim is a known link to t errorism.
←Rate | 07-15-2016 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why, when you suddenly start coughing your head off, do people say "Are you alright?" Hell no I'm not alright! If I was, I wouldn't be coughing like this. Duh.
←Rate | 12-12-2017 06:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been checking the box at the fire department but there's never any babies in it.. Whoever's beating me to it..YOU CAN ONLY TAKE ONE PER VISIT.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to get my life together. I spilled Life cereal all over the counter!
←Rate | 04-03-2013 02:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just launched a new fragrance ! - a great way to announce a fart
←Rate | 04-11-2013 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't tell you how long I believed girls peed out of their butts, but it was well past the age where it was considered normal.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 06:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody's perfect ..... My name is nobody
←Rate | 10-18-2012 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a new smart phone...but it's RG3 speed is kinda disappointing -It wouldn't stay in my pocket,and now it runs really slow...
←Rate | 01-07-2013 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the fact that she likes reverse cowgirl cuz I cant stand her face.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 19:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's 2nd big idea: Low fructose corn syrup.
←Rate | 01-14-2013 14:08 Comments (0)  




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