Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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celebating....aaaaaah! crap I forgot an R! I am celebrating 
Remember that new kid who always used to wear a skull cap and asked you to go to the prom with him and you rejected him?..Yeah,He had cancer and he died the very same night you were dancing with the school bully..Let that marinate in your mind for awhile
My conservative friend had blood dripping from his mouth. I asked him if he's ok and he said "don't worry about it, my sister's in her period"
Halloween is coming ... and you know what that means. An excuse for every girl to dress slutty and get away with it.
Studies show that 36% of people rushed to the hospital die on their way. Such a coincidence seeing that 36% of ambulance drivers are women.
Two Lovers plan to sucide. Boy jumped first. Girl closed her eyes and return backsaying 'Love Is Blind.' Boy in air 0pen his parachute saying 'Love Never Dies to'.
likes his women like he likes his whiskey...15 years old and mixed with coke
White privilege is how Amy Winehouse was considered a misunderstood soul and Whitney Houston was considered a crackhead.
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement? Is my statuses your drug? Huh your drug is my status your drug? Because your status is my drug huh your drug? huh your drug is my status your drug?
HD Ready
LGBTQ = Let's Get Biden To Quit
A cashless society was predicted in the Bible. It was written in the Book of Visa.
Interviewer: your resume is very impressive, but what would you say is your biggest weakness Me: lying on my resume probably
West Virginia is just Virginia's white suburb...
There's a thin line between Nirmal and Crazy people , and that line is usually cocaine
When they heard about his visit to the hospital, hell immediately started to construct a wall.
I just had a bowel movement that was more forced than the interview portion of Jeopardy.
Spicer can't concentrate long enough to intelligently discuss the holocaust. He needs to improve his concentration. Do they have camps for that?
Q: What's Better Than A Rose On Your Piano? A: Tulips On Your Organ.
8 out of 10 people would rather destroy the planet than give up their jobs. Irony at its finest. 