Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Don't you people see.... these dummy-crats are trying to peece us off. Lets show them we are bigger than that, and they need a job. 
I just want a man to rub my butt without trying to shove something in it.
Canadian sex is like American sex but with more apologizing and less guns.
Tender Age Shelter sounds like something spray painted onto a van parked outside of a grade school while the owner offers kids free candy.
To the Pope. Just let priests get married so they won't have to be gay with little boys!
Person... Woman... Man... Camera... TV....I'm a genius!
Best catch phrase to make fun of: Fake News.
....... Hey Barack and Hillary .... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!!!!
Congratulations America! We're one step closer to schmuck.
Mexico announces it's found 6 new oil deposits in Gulf of Mexico. Trump now wants to add a huge door to his wall.
After she loses the presidency, maybe on Hillary's next trip to the Middle East someone there will chop her head off. . .
If Hillary won we would be under Sharia law. Bacon would be outlawed
Because of Facebook, I paid my internet bill early.
The only thing that stops a bad actor with a gun is a good actor with a gun.
Tonight on Glenn Beck. Osama was killed on 5/1, exactly 66 years to the day after Hitler. if you add 5+1 you get 6. 66 years later on 5/1 (6) you get, now stay with me, 666. Osama was the anti-christ, tonight on Glenn Beck.
radios in car wasn't tell the 50s numbnuts
Food for thought Guys: If you teabag someone that is allergic to nuts, is that considered attempted murder
if you havin kony problems I feel bad for you son, he snatched 99 children and your post saved none.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a weak man all day. Wearing a backpack & a turtleneck is lke being strangled by a weak man as a dwarf tries to pull you down.
"Eating habits? You wanna know my eating habits? Well everytime I have to take a sh!t it's an emergency, hows that?" 