Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   There's no fool like an old fool. But some of you young fools are showing real promise.

   The road less traveled does not have 3G. I'm turning around.

   Dear Blackberry, I think it's nice that your honering Steve Jobs death with a 3 day silence.

   when alcohol does its taxes it claims me as its dependant

   I'll drink to that!! - Me, after anyone says anything.

   It makes me laugh when I see HOES arguing with other HOES about being a HOE

   with the current state of relationships these days, I think the Grim Reaper should take Cupid's spot...just seems more realistic to me....

   A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's...That's because she changes it more often.

   superbowl-- the only time I actually look forward to watchin commericals.. .

   stuck between a rock and someone I want to hit with it.

   Just once I'd like a bride to walk down the aisle to "The Imperial March" in place of "Here Comes the Bride".

   I think gang violence would drop dramatically if gangs behaved more like those in West Side Story.

   Please don't tell my three year old his oversized black calculator isn't really an iPad. He'd be crushed to learn his dad lied to him.

   FACEBOOK: HELPING OVERTHROW GOVERNMENTS SINCE 2011

   Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

   Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't have to match and boys had cooties.!!!!

   What if love was like volleyball... all you have to do is call 'MINE!' and everyone else backs off...

   If you happen to see a bunny laying brown eggs, do not eat them. ITS NOT CHOCOLATE!!!! HAPPY EASTER!!!!

   The only rabbit I want coming to my house is Jessica.

   It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme."