Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Dont cry poor to me--- as you update your status from your I-Phone!!

   Hey MARIO..!! Remember me??? I wasted my CHILDHOOD saving your girlfriend

   Treat your girl right, or another guy will

   I head they found a stash of porn with Bin Laden, guess that would be considered "Weapons of mass-terbation

   It's finally cheaper to buy a cup of coffee than a gallon of gas.

   heads or tails? Heads you give me some tail. Tails you give me some head.

   Facebook doesn't need a "dislike" button what it needs is a " noody effin cares" or get over yourself your really not that special button"

   No wonder you're so fat.......you're full of sh*t!

   okay mother nature, enough with the rain! I get the fact your sad, but you had to realize Joanie and Chachi werent gonna last forever.

   can somebody fix my parents...they always say their broke

   Spongebob is Asian. He's yellow, can't drive and does karate.

   Yes your girlfriend is beautiful and I totally dig that you guys just met, BUT, He is my neighbor and works in a drag club.

   Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write to myself on my wall.

   Rebecca Black is pregnant... she should have gotten in the front seat, not the back seat.

   Dont ask me to follow you on Twitter if you aren't going anywhere.

   thinks going to Target is like going to Wal Mart, only you feel alot better about yourself inside a Target!!

   Folgers coffee ads are ALL WRONG! The best part of waking up is being able roll over and go back to sleep.

   Sometimes I open the fridge and stare at the contents for no reason at all, just like I do with Facebook.

   i wonder if Rebecca Black was singing Friday while she was getting boinked.

   I Guess We All Kno what seat Rebecca Black finally Chose The Backseat Fun Fun Fun Fun