Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   My April Fools day joke blew up in my face. I threatened divorce. My wife agreed.

   Only fools fall in love, so today's the day!

   there such a thing as an April Fools' pregnancy test? Asking for a friend.

   If you are crazy enough everyday is April fools' day.

   Sorry no one understood you were making an April Fool's joke because no one thinks you have a sense of humor.

   did any of you guys ever have sex with 2 different women? In the same year?

   What if Captain Planet and Obama are gay lovers?

   Just changed in my change jar Had $729!!!! oh wait it was $7.29

   What if April Fools day doesn't really exist and it's actually the longest/greatest prank the world has ever seen......?

   If you insist on doing an April Fool's rib today, at least make a child cry.

   Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.

   The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.

   I'm going to get drunk white girl annoying tonight.

   If your boss says we have to be more flexible in this department be afraid. Be very afraid.

   If she doesn't arch her back for you during sex, she is just no that into you bro.

   It's really difficult to take your argument seriously with your extreme use of emoji's.

   When one's heart is filled with the desire for earthly things, there is no room left for the spirituality of God.

   " Don't forget to provide love and support to someone that has absolutely no interest in you today." I don't guarantee your front teeth after that.

   Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.

   What if somebody finds the missing plane tomorrow but no one believes them because April fools....?