Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 123 of 6384
I hate doing laundry so much that I wait until the only thing I have left to wear is my old prom dress.
←Rate |
07-08-2022 08:39
Comments (0)
If it was the other way around, I highly doubt one cat would take in 20 old ladies.
←Rate |
07-08-2022 08:39
Comments (0)
Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Floods, Hurricanes, Tsunamis etc are considered Acts of God. What a nice guy!
Dear Microsoft Word, I’m pretty sure I spelled my name correctly.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:41
Comments (0)
I got mood poisoning, must have been something I hate.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:41
Comments (0)
What if we used to be able to make wishes, but then someone wished that we couldn’t.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:40
Comments (0)
Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glovebox. Easy there Indiana Jones, I’ll just Google it.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:39
Comments (0)
When battle music plays during the game, but you can’t find the enemy.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:39
Comments (0)
Hey, how long has it been? Not long enough.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:38
Comments (0)
No, I’m being nice. I’ll be happy to show you the difference.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:38
Comments (0)
Gotta have a little sadness occasionally so you know when the good times come. Waiting on the good times now.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:37
Comments (0)
Should’ve seen me at work today. Somewhere an OSHA Manual burst into flames.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 23:36
Comments (0)
Whenever my turd splashes loudly in a restroom stall I play the sound of a baby crying on my phone and yell “it’s a boy!”.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:44
Comments (0)
I have Tourettes syndrome, but instead of swearing, I yell out movies that Nicolas Cage has been in
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:43
Comments (0)
What does Mario spend all those gold coins on? He has one outfit, travels by foot & lives in the stinking sewer
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:42
Comments (0)
i can promise you I will never love anyone enough to ride a tandem bike with them
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:41
Comments (0)
If you ever think money isn't everything....try living without it..
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:40
Comments (0)
Ancient proverbs say "Nobody sleeps when the cat's bowl is empty".
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:40
Comments (0)
To borrow a biblical term, couldn’t the quest for a Covid-19 vaccine be called “the road to de-mask us?
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:40
Comments (0)
My smart washer was compromised the S. Union so I couldn’t do laundry today, at least that’s what I’m going to tell her.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 07:39
Comments (0)