Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   been so depressed thinking about the economy I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

   the economy is soo bad that The Mafia is laying off judges...

   did anyone ever find out what The Rock was cooking? I always hoped it was lasagne

   thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.

   Sad Fact Of Life #208- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.

   learnt that 'practice makes perfect' does not apply to knife juggling

   pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool wit your pants on the ground

   ****This message has been censored by Beijing*****

   I like to title my documents "The World" so I can feel great when I click Save

   Avanika Mote : What's with people wanting a "dislike" button on FB?? Guys, just don't click the "like" button on a post....Ain't that wayy simpler, much logical and less offensive?

   Cat talking sh!t, girls gone, so the dogs and I are clearing the Living Room so we can have single elimination cage matches, winner gets to hit that pu55y...eeerrrr, cat!

   ..wishes she wasn't so mean to her dentist this morning. After all,dentists have fillings too..

   thinks God will still love me if I don't annoy 15 of my friends with some stupid chain email.

   some advice for the youngsters on Facebook. You can do anything you want to do in life, unless Jay Leno wants to do it too

   If your dog fits in your purse, send it back, it's a rat in a dog suit.

   hates the seat warmers in the car it makes me feel like I peed my pants, wait I didn't turn on the seat warmers today, DAMMMITT!!

   watching eclipse, ain't eclipse suppose to release 30 June 2010.... I must be lucky

   the concept of the movie avatar to "USA, the Pandora and the Obtanium Ore" is the same to "USA, Iraq and the Oil".

   If you are in a canoe flying over the grand canyon and a tire falls off how many pancakes does it take to fix a dog house orange elephants dont like ice cream

   Please put this on your status if you know someone who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness. 93% wont copy and paste this, mainly because they're too stupid to copy and paste